paper and paint

By nature, I’m a selfish person. I like my stuff to be orderly and the way I want it. I’m used to a certain way of doing things. I wake up in my comfortable bed, take a shower with hot, running water, pick out something to wear from my overflowing closet, put on my makeup that was just a bit too expensive, pour a cup of coffee from my press (with cream and sugar, of course), drive to work in traffic, work for 4 hours, eat, work for another 4 hours, drive home in traffic, eat again, take care of the evening’s activities, crash late and then wake up to do it all again. I have a daily routine, as of most of you out there. Day in and day out. Life seems to be going just swimingly and then God says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

What? Love? I love… don’t I? What does it mean to love? … To love someone is to seek the best for them.

How am I able to love, if I’m so focused on myself? Lately, I’ve been stepping back and looking at the stuff and routine that I’m accustomed to and wondering, where can I give of myself to show love to those around me? I find that it’s healthy for my body, mind and soul to engage in a lifestyle that is focused on things beyond MY self and MY convenience. I have so much… and I have so much that I could be giving.

I’ve found that giving is not an easy thing! As I said before, by nature, I’m a selfish person. It takes work and a constant, conscience effort to give. Life changes don’t just happen overnight, so in order to begin this lifestyle change for myself, I need to do some prep-work. Here’s a list of things that I’ve been trying to do in order to begin a life more focused on others… (I love lists!)

1. Make some changes: Weed out the things in my routine that aren’t uplifting to my body, mind or soul.
My husband and I have made a recent RADICAL decision… no TV. We don’t even own a TV. Crazy, I know. But to be sure, I wasn’t getting anything for my body out of it! It felt a bit like my mind was being brainwashed, and the fulfillment of my soul was definitely being put on hold. It’s been close to a year now and I feel it was one of the best decisions we ever made. Now, don’t get me wrong, we still occasionally go to a friends house and “veg out” and we still love watching movies, but it’s less accessible and, therefore, less of an addiction in our lives. These changes will be different for everyone. Kissing the TV goodbye is only one of mine. Change is good.

2. Get support: Be involved in my community of people.
I have a circle of friends that go way back. I sort of married into it, but for many years now, these people have become my community. We are just a group of normal people that are doing our best to get through this thing called life. Some of us are trying to live out Jesus Christ’s example of loving our neighbor as ourselves, but a person doesn’t have to be a follower of Christ to understand the importance of showing love and giving of themselves to others. No matter how much I try, I fail to measure up sometimes. I need the support, encouragement and accountability of others. It’s the same with any group of people I spend time with… family, church members, coworkers. As I try to love them as I love myself, I’m discovering that we are all in this same place together.

3. Create good habits: Give back on a daily basis.
Creating habits doesn’t have to be a hard thing. In fact, it’s easier than you think. I’ve been told that a habit is created if that same thing is performed every day for forty consecutive days. No matter what it is, good or bad. Keep it up and it will soon be a habit. Here are some things I’m re-working in order to begin creating good-habits in my own life:

Second Hand Recycling
I tend to be a collector of fine shoes, hand bags and clothes. What can I say? I’m a girl. But I also feel that “stuff” is taking over my life and the lives of everyone I know. So in addition to separating paper, cans and glass in the kitchen and green waste in the garden, I also practice a regular recycling of the stuff I own. Here’s the rule: New stuff in, old stuff out. This helps me to minimize the amount of stuff that accumulates in my home and helps to curb the consumerist mentality of wanting more stuff. I also do this with towels, linens, dishes, bath products, decorations and that stuff that ends up in the mysterious place I like to call “the junk drawer”. Doing this also allows me to support my favorite second-hand store through making donations. I’ve even been taking it a step further by shopping second-hand instead of buying brand new.

Cut Back
Steve and I brainstormed ways we could cut back on monthly bills, thus allowing more freedoms to give our time and money in other areas. This has been tough. We decided the best way for us to be able to give back is by selling one of our vehicles. Did you know that only 8% of the world’s people own vehicles. That leaves 92% that gets by daily with NO vehicle at all. Having two vehicles has been very convenient. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want to do it, but cutting back to one car has force us to create some good habits in our lives. It has caused me to start thinking about Steve’s schedule more and how we can create a carpooling routine. It has cut our bills back by eliminating a car payment and insurance. It has caused us to look into using public transportation as and alternative. And last, but not least, we can bypass traffic by using the carpool lane!

Get to know my Neighbors
I live in a manufactured home park. That’s right. We’re starting off in life and this is what Steve and I can afford considering we have chosen to live in the extremely overpriced San Fransisco Bay area. Our park is awesome! If you’ve ever lived or have visited a manufactured home park, you will see that there’s not much space between you and your neighbor. When we moved in a year ago, we made sure to introduce ourselves and have tried to build a relationship with them ever since. We help with projects, get advise in their areas of expertise, invite them over for barbecues, offer to “house sit” while they’re out of town, or just simply say hello when we’re both in the yard. I’m sure when God said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” he meant every person, but here’s some ways I’m attempting it in more of a literal sense.

Volunteer and Support a Cause
I’ve been looking into ways to volunteer my time and money. When I think of supporting a cause, I automatically jump to a the idea of moving to Africa or donating hundreds of dollars that I don’t have. While Africa has a very real need of resources and is a respected area to give, I’ve been focusing closer to home. There are many places and causes that I could support in my own community. I’m an artist at heart, so I’ve been looking into volunteering at a my local nonprofit Art Center. I would be helping in a variety of areas from exhibition setup to establishing art programs for youth. Volunteering is a physical action of giving with no expectation of compensation other than knowledge that you are making a difference in someone else’s life. To give of myself.

So that’s it… small steps toward a huge lifestyle change. How do I love my neighbor as myself? … give.